The "JCPHQ"

John 'Constantine' Pang

Thursday, July 24, 2008

lamentations

Everything is falling apart
nothing seems to be going right.
all i had hopes on, all that i could look forward to, all that could bring a cheer to my day when i think of it, are all not happening or not any more.

Lord, is this your plan that i be in this situation?
Is it your will that i end up in this society, this environment?
was it your plan all along that my past been as such?
Looking back at the past, is just a cloud which my years disappeared into.
Looking into the future, its just a shadow of uncertainty and bleakness.
Looking at the present, i am stuck in this hostile world, with hostile environment and society.
I have nowhere to run. You hold the lamp to my path
i ought to trust in your guidance and know that you will lead me where the grass is greener on the other side. where the sun will shine brightly and flowers bloom once again.
but Lord, now all i see is darkness, even the lamp i fail to find comfort in.
All these things are tearing me down piece by piece. my morale, my esteem. laid to waste.
It makes it hard for me to find the will, strength and passion to live for you.
I just cant find the hope anymore that ill be great for you someday.

Lord, is this a test for me?
Are you doing this to humble me?
I choose to believe that you have always been there for me, watching over me
You know what i am going through and you care for me
You have allowed all these things to happen. yes it could make me stronger.
But i begin to doubt if your plan really intends for me to be great for you.
Am i really able to be, even if im fully willing? will you perform a miracle change on me?
Is this all contributing to the greater plan you have for me that i currently fail to see?
If so, Lord, i pray you show me the meaning of this.
The purpose for putting me through this, so that i may tide it through with a smile.
For then i know that all these happening is all in your plan.
As for now, Lord, please give me the strength and comfort i need to carry through this rocky and trecherous valley, doing the best i can to make things good.
Though i walk through the valley in the shadow of death, i shall fear no evil, for your rod and staff shall comfort me. Amen.

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